It's About To Get Femanistic All Up In Here!

Dear Men,

This is 2009, and yes, I just happen to be a woman (maybe even a lady sometimes) and well guess what, I can wear pants. I can work outside of the home and not have to rub your stinking rotten feet when you get home AND I can even vote (even though I choose not to because politicians are all scary liars). I can belch and curse and if I had balls you bet I would be scratching them in public just like you do...so why is it you guys think I can't buy a car?

Yes I am carless, after a long day of menisms, I have had it. If it is meant to be then it will happen, but at this point I just want to go to that car lot, take my beautiful car and drive away Thelma and Louise style (minus the whole going over the cliff thing - that would be a long drive to find a cliff and I don't think I have enough $$ for gas that far).

I just love how everybody has told me to "take a man with you to look at the car". Heck, even the mechanic (who was a man - with a very funny name that I choose not to disclose incase I ever run into him again) told me to bring a man with me and that it is so unfortunate that car salesmen take advantage of young women (and old people) like me.

SOOOO...apparently I am a flake looking to drive a cute car who knows dick all. I am the flake who took the car to the mechanic to see exactly what it needed to be done so I could have the upper hand in wheeling and dealing with these burglars used car salesmen. I went in there fired up, shoving the paperwork under his nose and demanding he do the work and because I am a woman (?) he told me the car would cost $500 more.

So umm...he wants me to pay $500 for repairs on a car (that wouldn't even total $500 for the entire repair bill anywhere else) when I haven't even drove the car by myself yet!!! I am paying for some other flake who decided to never get a tune up on this thing. I am not stupid, I'm not a doormat and I certainly do not have an extra $500 for this dickhead because he thinks I'm just a stupid girl. I walked out of there over $500 and he lost a customer and my heart is broken because I fell in love with that car after spending the entire day with it.

Not to worry, I have some other plans...and unfortunately they include bringing a man there with me to make a deal - another plan was to have that guy kicked in the balls repeatedly - however that is very unethical and could get me arrested so I think plan A it is (as sad as that is and how much it stinks to have to rely on a man).

I drowned my sorrows with my co-workers at dinner tonight with a bunch of fishbowl-sized drinks of mango fruity girly drinks (afterall, I'm not enough of a man to drink beer) and got really drunk and told them how the thought crossed my mind to ask the car salesman if he would just sell it to me for the original price if I flashed him (sadly enough it did cross my mind). I think that would make it even, no? Maybe it was the pigtails I wore today...I KNEW they were a bad idea.