I absolutely hate borrowing items from people.  One of my biggest fears is borrowing something from someone and having it break.  I think this all stems from that one time in grade six when I borrowed a push pencil from a girl in my class and lost one of the leads.


The worst feeling in the world (okay..I exaggerate a little. If you didn't know that this must be your first time here!) is having to explain to somebody that you broke their shit - and then having to replace said shit.  It's not a good feeling...at all.

I try to avoid lending people things at all costs.  Nobody found out I had a spot cleaner for years, simply because I don't like sharing.  Maybe it's oldest child syndrome, but really I think it's just better to avoid lending people things so the awkwardness of getting back a broken object is avoided.

...and I have successfully avoided all instances of friends' broken objects since 1992. Until today.

One of the worst things to lend somebody is your car. Sure it's insured and all - but what about the things that aren't covered by insurance? Stray shopping carts, running over a skunk, spilling soda/barf/urine all over the interior.  The list goes on.  How about driving over train tracks and ruining said car?  It's not a great feeling.

Today I had to borrow my mother's Jeep.  Long story short - driving home college kids who brought way more luggage home than they had when we arrived.  I ended up leaving my car two hours away in Newmarket and took home my mom's Jeep because it had more room for their stuff.  My mom will bring my car back (hopefully un-broken) this week sometime.

I drove these girls the two hours home - down the Sunday afternoon traffic of the 401 without incident. We get to London, only five minutes from the college, and my streak of not breaking other people's shit came to an abrupt end.  It happened over a set of train tracks (the Clarke road tracks to be exact for you Londoners).  I swear....SWEAAAAAAAAAR I wasn't speeding.  The car did not become airborne, it was just a little bump and next thing I knew there was an awful metal grinding/clanking/vibrating sound coming from my mother's car.

I pulled over in a truck lot and we checked the car out and could not find anything wrong with it.  I thought maybe I ran over some debris so I drove backwards and forwards trying to disengage anything that had become lodged - nothing.  The next step was the dreaded phone call.

Luckily my mom didn't answer - so we called her boyfriend who was a lot more cool about it than I'm sure she would have been.  Because he was over two hours away, realistically, there was nothing he could do.  I called my mechanic on his cell phone and made him listen to the noise (which strangely was my second time calling him and asking him to diagnose a car problem over the phone).  He said it was annoying but probably still drivable and to take it easy and that if it felt unsafe to park it (I have the best mechanic in the world by the way).

We arrived at the school, and I apologized profusely to the girls that I was dropping off.  I was saying how sorry I was that they would have to be dropped off and embarrassed by the loud clanking noise.  Then it was like the clouds opened up and a parking hump came to our rescue.  I barreled over the hump a little too quickly and low and behold  - the problem was solved!! Either that or a really expensive plate fell off the bottom of the car so now it is not rattling anymore - either way, I win!

I still have to take the car in tomorrow morning - mostly for my own peace of mind. This is why you should never borrow people's belongings.

Have you ever borrowed something and had to return it broken? How did you handle it ?

Last week I had to rush over to EVILBOY's school at lunch to drop off his ice skates.
My brain forgets that Tuesdays are skating days (pretty much every week).
When I got to the school, I tracked down EVILBOY in his lunch room.
...and he looked at me like I had eight heads. "I don't have skating today mom".

I swear the whole lunch room erupted into laughter.
I walked out of the school, embarrassed because I had brought a co-worker for the ride and she would know that I was wrong about skating day.  Plus the kids laughed at me - maybe they really didn't but in my mind it sure felt like they did!

On the way back to the office, my co-worker and I took notice of a truck with names written on the side.  We were joking about the names on the side.  The light turned green so off we both went.  Suddenly I saw those same names we were making fun of getting closer and closer to my door.  I realized that this moron (with the stupid name) was coming into my lane!  I sped up, but unfortunately not fast enough and my poor car got a boo boo.

To me this just looks like a little scrape.  To a mechanic it looks like a really good Christmas it's all denty and stuff *shrug*

When the guy pulled over, he said he didn't think he hit us.  Right away he didn't want to go through insurance (red flag) and you know what, this time of year, I'm willing to work with people. Something about this crisp December air makes me trusting of people.  To be honest, I wasn't even that mad about the whole thing. I got out of the car and very calmly said "dude, you hit my car!" (I don't know where the dude part came from - I was a little shaken up!).

So many people had different opinions.  Some people said to go report it right away, others said to get quotes and present them to him.  All I knew was I had 24 hours to deal with this and that I would have to make a phone call that I didn't want to make. To make matters worse, I had my very important G2 exit test the next morning and I wasn't sure they were going to let my car go through the test with damage that had not been reported.

When I got the quotes, I was actually shocked at how much damage was actually done.  I was hardly bumped and we were looking at between $1,300 - $2,300 to fix my car.  Not to mention I would be without a vehicle for a week - something that is not very easy to do when you have a child who is in extracurricular activities.

I knew this man was not going to want to pay to repair my car and provide me with a rental car, and as much as I hate to out someone, reporting this to insurance was looking like the safe thing to do.  When I called him he was actually being a bit of a jerk.   He was doubting that the damage was that extensive and he wanted me to bring the car to his mechanic in the morning (red flag #2).  I was a bit angry at this point because I had worked so hard to make sure he wouldn't have to put this accident on his insurance.  I took time off work to get quotes and even called my friend who worked at his insurance company to see if his insurance rate would go up because of our little accident (without divulging too much info!).

But I still wasn't ready to report him.  At this point I was afraid of retaliation if I did because I sort of did agree to see his mechanic (even though I was more worried about passing my road test at this point). I decided to go to the accident reporting station to ask a police officer for some advice.  The best thing that happened all day was that the officer took some pictures of the damage and right away made me report it to insurance.  I needed someone to give me that last little push.

Apparently if the damage is over $1,000 you have to legally report it.  I felt like a weight had been lifted off my chest (only to be replaced with the stress of having a driving test the next morning).  Then I remembered that the bad driving man had my phone number because he was supposed to call me the next morning.  The officer assured me that I would never have to speak with him again and that if he called to just ignore his call.

Luckily he didn't call and he didn't challenge that the accident was his fault.  My car is being fixed and I should have her back in a couple days.  For now I have a car with bum warmers (I'm going to be really sad when I lose those bum warmers).

I was also lucky that EVILBOY was not in the car at the time.  The car was hit just behind his door and had he been in the car I'm not so sure he would have been unharmed. It really was not a serious accident by any means, but I know something like this would have affected him, at least emotionally for sure.

My insurance company has been great through this whole thing. When the deer accident happened a few years ago, they were wonderful, but I thought I just happened to be lucky to be matched with a nice adjuster that day.  Turns out they were just as wonderful this time as well, they went above and beyond, taking care of things I thought I would have to take care of, even asking how I am feeling every time they call.

Plus I passed my driving test (without using the accident as a sob story too!). Now it's time to enjoy the holidays!

Long story short, my insurance went up (again) and now it is at a completely unfair rate.  I found out it was because the car I chose has a high rating for claims and accidents with the insurance company so in turn I get totally screwed over not because I am a bad driver, but because I picked the wrong car.

Strangely enough, if I get another Beetle, my insurance will go down to my current rate (which is still higher than the last time I owned a Beetle).  I decided the best thing to do is to sell the car.  I never really fell in love with the car, and it was just used to get me to and from work, but with the price of gas, insurance, oil changes and maintenance, not to mention the stupid drivers/pedestrians in this city, it's really not worth it.

Seriously, I've had people walk out in front of me with their baby strollers, I've had a guy swing his shoes at me (rollerblader), I've had old men try to run me off the road and I've had wild animals who like to give me loads of stress. I'm just done with it.  The way I see it, why am I driving a car that I never really wanted in the first place and paying so much to do so.  It just doesn't make sense anymore.

So I am on a mission.  Again. I found another Benny, Benny II if you will.  I first saw this car last fall.  I fell in love with it then and propositioned the car lot to do a fair trade of my current vehicle (which is a year newer and has less mileage).  They wrote down my info and promised to call, which they never did.  So I forgot about Benny II.  Until the other day when I was browsing Kijiji and there he was.  The exact same Benny II at the exact same car lot, for a cheaper price.

I contacted the owner who told me that Benny II had sold shortly after I looked at him last fall, but that he was returned because the buyer wanted to a Mercedes and this car lot got the Mercedes in.  Benny II got a new tint job and new tires while he was owned by someone else.  Lucky Benny II.

The thing about my car is that it was in an accident before (not by me) and so I got it for pretty cheap.  It was hit in the back end, but this was all fixed up, so other than it saying on my ownership that this had happened, the car is excellent.

At least I thought so.

I decided that I was going to go and propose another trade for Benny II today.  So I took Eileen (my new car) in to the little spray and wash place (which is never a really great idea when it is -10 out) and sprayed her all down so she looked good as new.  I mean I scrubbed and froze my fingers off making that car look pretty.

Then I drove down the street to the car lot, where in that time the water had all frozen all over the car and made it look horrible again (me and my great ideas).  Also a case of Diet Coke had exploded in the trunk of the car this morning, I was really pushing my luck.

Of course the salesmen put on their charm, let me molest start up Benny II and check out all his new work (I had previously driven this car in the fall so I felt no need to take it out again at this point, didn't want to get myself too attached).

But I wasn't there to fondle a Beetle, I was there to wheel and deal.  I've dealt with a lot of car lot people in this past year, I feel pretty experienced in my ability to tell them what I want or I walk away (and cry about it...a lot....later).  We got talking and the car salesman pointed out that he didn't like my car's back end.

Offended I was.

Pardon moi?  You don't like my car's ass?  WTF dude? He said he could see where they had done the repair job and that it was a pretty bad job they did to fix it.  I have had this car since July, I am a very picky person when it comes to my expensive things and I never had problem with my car's ass...until he pointed it out just today.


This is the best picture I could find of the car, which hardly shows the back end where it was hit, but you get the idea.  Anyway, this salesman said they wouldn't buy my car, but they could bring it to an auction where they could get anywhere from $1500 to $2000 for it.  I paid $8000 in July for this car.

I'm not stupid.  This is a 2004 with 91000km on it.  Tell me where I can find a car with that low km on it for $1500 and I'm sold.

After that, we made a pit stop at the grocery store where we bought all the necessities for big huge banana splits.  I put the bags in the trunk and shook my head, just thinking about how ugly my car's ass is.  So then we came home and made this:


Which helped, for a little bit. Squirting a glob of whipped cream into my mouth also helped a little bit. 


So now I have to drive around town worrying about my car's ass.  I will wonder if people are looking at my car's ass, and I will be grumpy about it because now I feel like I will never be able to sell this car.  This all sort of reminds me of my own ass actually.  My mom always made comments about my "bubble butt that I couldn't have gotten from my father because he has no ass" so I have always been so self conscious about it. Long shirts have been my savior for many years, you know to hide my big bubble butt.

Oh Eileen we are one and the same.  I only hope that someone will see past our asses and pick us to be their very own.

Uhh..that was weird.  I know.

This is Benny.

I'm not gonna lie, I NEVER expected anything like this to happen to me. I mean, I do have bad luck, but this to a car that has already been plagued with my bad luck? Impossible.
I'll give you the short but sweet version. I will spare you the deer jokes, there have been tons of those all weekend and now I'm dealing with the mess that Mrs. Bambi left behind.
So we're driving along, headed to the NKOTB concert in Toronto. I think we were actually listening to NKOTB, and I'm sure I was singing along (badly) and all of a sudden I was all like Step-by-Ste-HOLY CRAP A DEER'S FACE IN MY WINDOW and then a sickening thud.
Honestly, I thought the car was okay. I didn't see any damage and I didn't see the deer (who most likely ran away), but in mid-panic I decided to pull over and check the damage. So I got out on this dark, deserted highway and had a hairy canary when I noticed my mirror was gone, even more so when I noticed the big chunk of deer that was hanging off the "mirror stub" and the huge dent. I tried to open the door to get my friend to come check it out but she was all like no you moron, get in and let's go. I wanted my mirror back but it was way down the road somewhere in the complete darkness...besides I wouldn't want the deer to come back and this to happen to me (by the way, do you guys think that deer was only trying to rape that guy and not hurt him? I thought he was just looking to get some if you ask me...).
So basically, all the damage is on the passenger side. The deer tried to either jump or run into my car (suicidal much?) and didn't quite make it. I'm sure it was sore after that, but it was totally gone when I looked back.
It really could have been A LOT worse. I just shudder to think of what would have happened if the deer had antlers, if I had hit it head on and lost control or if the car wouldn't drive after that.
I've decided I will never drive to Toronto again...EVER.

This:
Will fit into this:

...but will result in this (but luckily only for a block and a half...phew):

What would you call a movie that is opposite of a chick flick? I'm looking for a catchy title..just can't think of it, maybe because my brain turned to mush from watching the Hotty McHotPants in Fast and Furious.




Total not chick flick, but totally turned it into one by undressing each and every dude in that film with my eyes...well except for the creepy/ugly/mean ones.
So then of course I get to drive home after this movie. You know drive in my little automatic 2.0 beetle with transmission problems.
So I'm all like look Benny, I'm gonna drive you all Fast and Furious like and you're gonna like it.
Benny's all like nope...ain't gonna do it.
So I'm all like BIIIIITCH you are so gonna speed me home
and Benny's all like go for it... *clunk* *thud* *WHEEEEE*
so I'm all like yeah, okay you win.
SOOOO no Fast and Furious for me...more like slow and sluggish with a lot of revving up too high at embarrassing moments. Benny so needs a tune up and I need to check my head....I'm a 27 year old mother for crying out loud...like I even need to drive fast, duh.

As much as I love taking the bus, I am going to have to say goodbye.

Goodbye outrageous fares.
Goodbye perverted drivers.
Goodbye mean drivers.
Goodbye smellies.
Goodbye crazies.
Goodbye people who poop their pants on the bus (oh trust me, it happened).
Goodbye hot bus driver :(


That being said....
Hello gas station.
Hello calling people "dog shit" when they cut me off.
Hello trying to obey the speed limit.
Hello cruising with the windows rolled down.
Hello to singing all by myself in the car.
Hello being on time and not having to wait out in the snow for the bus.

I did it!! Imagine that, I passed my driver's test and now I can do whatever I want. It's amazing, I was very lucky to have a only semi-mean evaluator, but it didn't matter because I rocked that parallel parking like mad. Wow this opens up a whole other chapter in my life. Next step...learn how to pump gas :/

So this has been a really interesting week for me. I cant even begin to explain the feelings I went through (mostly anger) that made me feel more grown up.

You see, Benny the car has been giving me some trouble. The car that I haven't even driven before this week had a few little "safety issues" to fix before I could get some license plates. No big deal...an insane amount of money later or what I might have referred to as my big screen tv, and Benny now is plated and back home safe and sound in my driveway.

Being home safe in my driveway was a huge deal for me and I will tell you why. On Wednesday I was taking the looser cruiser (aka bus) to work, I was super-excited to see my car which should have been parked at the mechanics which was on the bus route. Imagine my excitement when we came around that corner, but then imagine how that excitement turned into pure terror when the car was not there.

The work had already been done the day before so there was no reason for the car to be missing. I quickly got off the bus to inspect the now empty parking spot where my car used to be. I felt so lost, insanely lost! There were police cars all over the place, and my mind started racing. "what if someone shot a bullet through one of my windows and the police took the car away", "what if the mechanic fell in love with my car and drove it to Mexico to drive off a cliff Thelma and Louise style?" (and yes those were serious thoughts - welcome to my mind, hang on it's a crazy ride!).

I just stood there in the empty spot probably looking pretty dumbfounded. I peeked in the windows of the shop and didn't see a thing, the mechanic was missing, there were no tire marks or anything - but where was my car??

I had to leave, it was freezing out and I'm pretty sure my hands got frost bitten from all the frantic calls I was making. A couple minutes after I got to work and defrosted at my desk I got a phone call....and of course right away I thought it would be the police telling me how my car was stolen or something. Luckily it was the mechanic - who proceeded to tell me every little thing he did that morning. I finally interrupted him after he told me about his bowl of Shredded Wheat with a hair in it to beg of him to tell me the whereabouts of my car. "Silly girl, I put car in shop because bums break in my cars to sleep in them". Oh...good enough. Now I just felt stupid.

So long story, semi-shortened, the car was safe, it cost me my big screen TV fund to have it safetied, e-tested and plated. I was so excited to go down to the licensing office this morning. I was there bright and early and greeted the grumpy office workers with my early morning goofy grin. I had all my paperwork, I knew what I was there for and I had pigtails...it was a good day, and then she handed me my new plates. BEWS. My plates say BEWS (aka - booze!). I mean not that I ever plan to drink and drive, but if I ever did and got caught they would print in the newspaper "and her license plates said BEWS" or what if people think I picked that myself? I mean sure I like to indulge in a few lot of drinks every now and then. I guess I'm just a little disappointed that they didn't say something cool like AWSM or COOL or CUTY. Bews it is, make sure you wave if you see me...or buy me a drink cuz I think that's going to be my new trademark now.

I had to pry him off with the broom shortly after this pic.

To make myself extraordinarily dorky, I must tell you how I drove it up and down my driveway a few times trying to get it parked in the perfect spot until my neighbour who shares the driveway (who does not own a vehicle, mind you) told me it needed to be moved because it was in the way of her home nurses who come to see her husband.

Picture me...now picture me with steam coming out of my ears. I mean I'm a nice enough person and I'm pretty understanding, but this woman drives me absolutely bat-shit. I seriously want to move over her dumbass antics. My next move is to separate the driveway somehow with some kind of border or big yellow line or something so she can take her non-existent car and shove it up her rear. I ended up having to move the car up right beside the house and had to pry myself out. Like hell will I be doing that everyday.

Luxury apartment is looking nicer and nicer at this point.