Tuesday Toot: Expecting the worst...

I always expect the worst. It's just one of my flaws. Things could be going great and then all of a sudden I stop, hold my breath and think about how great things are going now, but in a short time things will get bad again.

and it always does.

It's my bad luck.

If you really think about it though, something bad is going to happen anyway to all of us at some point. Otherwise we would all be riding around on unicorns that fart out rainbows all day long. So really I guess expecting the worst is kind of silly.

but I always do. Because good always turns into bad. It's my experience in anything and everything and I hate feeling that way, but I always do, and as hard as I try, the feelings of dread always creep in.

Today was the first time I really realized this to be a problem.

Mason has been asking for "spray shoes" for a while now. A little boy in his old daycare had these shoes and Mason was just over the moon for them. The idea of them is actually pretty cool:


We were shoe shopping last week and I was so close to buying these shoes because they were $10 off. The problem is, these are $70 shoes. Shoes that my son would have worn out in a week, but I almost bought them because he made that sad little puppy face, followed by the hissy fit face, and it almost had me, but we settled for the $20 Lightning McQueens instead.

Last night we stopped by the shoe store to see if the shoes were still on sale, we were there anyway so I thought I would just check to see, mostly because I am indecisive and I really wanted to make him happy, but again I walked away, the shoes were no longer on sale, and again I thought about how rough he is on his footwear.

Then today at lunch a co-worker and I went to Value Village (a huge chain thrift store). As we walked by the shoe aisle, I started to think about those shoes. I chuckled to myself as I thought how funny it would be for those shoes to be there. Then as quickly as the thought came to my mind, I glanced over and there they were. I am not even shitting you. The EXACT same shoes in Mason's size. A little worn, but really not bad at all, with a price tag of $3.99.

and as I made my way out of the store like a bandit. I was like the Ikea lady in that commercial. I was giggling, couldn't believe my luck - and then it hit me. Something bad is going to happen. I was expecting it. Wondering how it would emerge. Car accident? Wild deer? Getting fired? Getting yelled at by my boss until I cry? Losing money? Getting punched in the crotch? It's very tiring to not know how life is going to creep up and kick you in the behind.

and I worry about it too much.

because nothing bad happened.

Except not getting glue with my fake moustache. That was pretty bad because now I don't know how to apply said moustache without glue.

PS - here is the reaction when I gave Mason the shoes. Not quite the reaction I was expecting, but it'll do.



PPS - once Mason learned said shoes actually didn't fly he was even less impressed.