December 12, 2003:
I have really come to hate living alone. R. is in the hospital for 4-6 weeks and already I am an emotional wreak. Every sound I hear in this house is making me jump and nothing seems to help. The dogs do help with the loneliness a bit but I really want someone to talk to.I really hope this time goes by quickly. I'm scared and alone and I wish I could just sleep these next few weeks away. I hate seeing somebody I am so dependent on become even more weak and vulnerable than I am. I hate seeing somebody who I look up to cry because it just makes me cry...it's so hard not to. It seems like we've been crying every day for the past few weeks and I just want it to stop...where is our pot of gold at the end of the rainbow? It seems that if it isn't one thing it's another and it usually ends up having to do with money. Turns out being a couple who neither can work...a man who is very ill with cancer and a woman who is pregnant and has to take care of the household where the man cannot really screws you these days. It's pretty sad...I'm sure a lot of people think I'm using this as a sob story when I call to explain why our gas bill hasn't been paid off in full or when the creditors call but I'm really not making this up...this is our life.
ABOUT THE AUTHOR
Hello..this is my blog. I bought this fancy theme and I don't know what to write here just yet. Maybe one day remind me I have to write something inspiring here?
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