The Battle...

On the frontline. 
The soldiers are in order.
I'm pretty sure Jon Snow is there.
It is a battle...
and it's all in my head.

It's a battle of
Never being good enough.
Never being smart enough.
Feeling like a nuisance to people.
Enhancing my flaws.
Being deceived.
Having trust issues.

Everything changed so quickly.
I panicked and I gave up. 
and then they settled and I somehow forgot who I was.
People are not the same. 
Home is never my home.
It's never settled.

I try to blend in.
I don't want anyone to notice.
but at the same time this is a cry for help.
Starving for attention.
Where is Jon Snow when you need him?

In a way this is one of those blog posts apologizing for my absence.
In a way I'm not sure I will ever come back.
This world is a scary place.
People are offended. 
People are angry.
Being a writer is terrifying.