The things that worry me...

Hi internet people! Remember me? Yeah me, the one who hasn't blogged all week. Could have been the super-awesome Tupperware party I spent hours upon hours (and hours) planning (read: Superstore trip - 20 mins). I did get some free product though so that was awesome and stuff.

What I really meant to come here and talk to you all about is the things that I worry about. You see in reality, I spent the whole week worrying. Not just this week though, I worry all the time. Every day, hour, minute, second - heck, I'm worrying right now. Worrying makes me crabby. Crabby makes me lonely. Lonely makes me sad. Sad makes me lazy, it's a vicious cycle.

So to try to make some light of this situation, I have decided to tell you all about the things that worry me. Why? Because I have extreme blogger block right now, my kid is at his grandma's and I have yard work to do like crazy but I really don't want to go out there.

Without further ado, or excuses, here are the things I worry about on a daily basis:

Am I Being a Good Mother?
Being the only parent really makes this one my number one. So when I let my kid wear rubber boots to daycare on a summer day down to letting him go next door for pizza without me, I always worry if I am making the right decision or leading him to become the next gangsta kid down the street. Of course I also worry about his general well-being too, it's hard being away from your child when you worry about them constantly. I worry about things like daycare shootings, alien abductions and of course swine flu and head lice. I worry about him saying "Jasper the Douchebag Ghost" at daycare because I let him watch Robot Chicken that one time or that he doesn't have enough fun because at that age, it's all about having fun.

Am I Going to Get Hurt/Embarrassed/Have to Hide in a Hole?
Some of these could include "Is this bathtub going to go crashing through the floor, breaking both my legs and forcing me to lay there, naked, in my basement crying for help/hoping nobody can see me naked and trying to cover my naked-ness with the ugly shower curtain my mom got for us from the Salvation Army store that I only keep up as to not hurt her feelings." or maybe even "Will this elevator go crashing down. Should I jump up in the air just before it hits the ground so I don't break my legs?" Pretty much the same as above, only without the nakedness so a little more tolerable. Then there is the "I hope that people I know don't stumble upon my dating profile on that popular dating site" which I worry about so much that every time someone mentions this site or if I see it written on a sticky note on their desk, I go straight home and delete my profile for a few weeks. Let's not forget the "Do the people I know who died and are now ghosts (or possibly zombies) watch me while I am in the shower?". This one stems way back to when my grandma died, now it includes R. What if they watch me lather up my butt with that awesome Avon kiwi papaya shower gel (that was totally a plug by the way).


Do My Work People Take Me Seriously?
The "Do I smell good?" which is followed by subtle armpit sniffs and the "I hope people don't notice that my pants are a little camel-toeish today" fall soundly within this category. Then there is the "Do they notice that I really don't want to be here today?" and the "Will I get this report done on time?". One that came to mind recently was at a co-worker's birthday party at work (yes we do that sometimes when we really like the person). I hate singing "Happy Birthday" so I lip sync...even at my own kid's birthday party. This would be when the "Will they notice that I am lip syncing "Happy Birthday" and think that I don't actually like this person?". I've been to a lot of birthday parties lately so I've been doing a lot of thinking about this...to deal, I've decided to nickname myself "Vanilli", why? Because it's cool. Oh crap, after going to that link I've realized that Vanilli died. I didn't know that! I hope he doesn't watch me in the shower.

Is My House Okay?
I worry about my home when I'm not there. I worry about my house when I am there. It's really a big cycle of worry with this place. Living in an older home I always worry about "Do I smell gas?" or "Did the furnace just blow up?" and then there is the "What if there is a fire, what should I grab first" I am totally the person who would run back in for things. I'm my grandfather at heart, I love my junk and to me it is unreplaceable (irreplaceable?). Mind you, my junk is wonderful stuff like beloved bears, awesome computers with beautiful pictures, and my wonderful camera that takes the beautiful pictures. I guess I would save the hermit crab too...even though he's a prick. Then there is the worries about burglars. I'm not alone at night very often (oooh that sounded juicy), really I meant when my brother is at a sleep-over because he totally does that sometimes, but when I am alone I totally hear every little noise and think there is a burglar in the house. Not that I think my brother could protect me, because really I think I could even beat him up, but just knowing that the burglars could get to him first and think he's scary in the dark and run away makes me feel a little better.

Is My Car Okay?
These include "Did I remember to lock the doors", "What is that noise?", "See...the gears aren't changing properly", "Is someone going to break my window to steal my Canadian Tire money?". This is now to the point where I now have become friends with my mechanic to the point where I give him crap for smoking on the every-other-day visit I make when I think there is another problem with the car.

Are We Going To Be Healthy?
I am a constant worrier about health issues. There is the "That freckle wasn't there yesterday!" and the "My heart beat is not strong enough". I'm sure this all comes from losing someone you love to cancer, something that is all to new to me as of four years ago. I also worry if Mason will have the same cancer because his father did and even down to "will he need glasses like I do?"

These are just a few examples of things I worry about every single day. It's exhausting, and believe me I've tried medication (which actually made it worst because the medication made me feel like a zombie who worries about gas leaks).

What can I say, I'm a worrier! What do you worry about?