He's Just Not That Into You...

Crushes are terrible.

....but they can be so much fun.

They can make your life hell.

.....or they can make your day.

They can devastate you

.....or give you something to daydream about.

Crushes cannot be controlled, which makes them so much more intriguing. By that I mean, it makes things a little more exciting to have a crush on somebody a little more out of your comfort range, someone you normally wouldn't bat an eyelash at or someone who you just could never possibly be with.

I have always hated crushes, mostly because I am extremely shy, I would never dream of making the first move and let's face it, I need all the help I can get. To me crushes are like dreams, but not good dreams, the sort of dreams you could never reach...like me dreaming of being an astronaut, just not gonna happen - heck, it takes me five minutes to get a joke sometimes.

Another funny thing about crushes is that they can last for a lifetime, years, months, weeks, days, hours (if you're in to that sort of thing) and sometimes minutes - or even until your crush vomits all over your shoes at a party.

Either way, as terrible as they are, they always make life a little more exciting, they give me something to blog about (ha!) and let's face it...one can always dream right? And the funny thing is, they come in all sorts: Bus drivers, air conditioning men, high school music teachers, Tom Hanks, David Duchovny in a speedo, trust me, there is no way of controlling this stuff. All it takes is one little smile, wink, cheekbone, *ahem* speedo areas *ahem* and you're hooked. Sometimes they even happen through conversation. It's like "What? You like red shoes? Me too.." and then you go home and blog about that person because they liked red shoes and them saying that just totally sent you spinning.

Here are a few general types of crushes you can have:

Appearance:

This is the most common type of crush for me (because I'm shallow and superficial). This type of crush is based solely on the appearance of another person. It could be a co-worker, a stranger you pass by daily, friends of friends. So although this person could possibly be a hobo, you are infatuated because they look good.

These would include Hottie Mc B (hot bus driver), hot air conditioning man, hot guy on the bus who just disappeared (I think he died) ....to name a few.

Stars:

"OMG Did you see Robert Pattinson on the video awards last nite!!!" - Get it? These kinds of crushes are very common, but face it, dude doesn't know you exist, and if he does you have probably moved out of crush all together and into stalker mode. Tread carefully my friend, you don't want to end up dead outside Paula Abdul's house....Jus' sayin.

These sorts of crushes could also include David Duchovny in a red speedo, Charlie Sheen in Major League(shaddup), Optimus Prime , Luka from ER, that guy from the "I'm a Mac...and I'm a PC" commercials, Axl Rose in white spandex, totally awesome singers and Harrison Ford.

Something In Common:

This happens when you are working closely with someone on something you both enjoy, whether it be for work, school, recreation...this is also a very common crush.

I can't recall ever experiencing this type of crush. Which is odd. I honestly can't think of one person...maybe because I'm a girl and I do girl things and I don't ever do "boy things"? Interesting. I think I would have to say it's because I'm too weird to share interests with other weirdos.

Crush on an Elder (but not elderly):

Sometimes when you are feeling low and insecure, or if you really like old men, then you will develop this type of crush. Sort of like that one time in high school when I developed a crush on my music teacher, even though he looked like Tom Hanks and was like...oldish.

Dreamer:

When you get so carried away with your crush that you start to change them or make up details in your mind. For instance, if I still had a crush on Axl Rose in white spandex then I would imagine that he would dress more appropriately to have dinner with my grandparents.

Ex-Boyfriends/Girlfriends:

These types of crushes are rough. Trust me. Especially if they are happier than you and instead of gaining weight by eating 10 gallon tubs of Cherry Garcia, they found themselves a new girlfriend, brand new truck, new house.... I will stop now.

Best Friends:

These are another type of hard crushes to have. You feel so comfortable with this person, you absolutely love having them around, but you know if you were to get your feelings over you would lose your friendship. That hasn't ever happened to me. I generally hate people so I'm good in that department.

Crushes on the Taken:

Sometimes you can't help but crush on a married person. You wait on the sidelines, writing notes and sending incriminating evidence to their partner - no, I kid, I would never do that. Someone did it to me one time! Seriously! They called my house and told R. that I was making out with some guy downtown, unlucky for me I was downtown that day, but I wasn't sucking face with anyone...but we got in a huge fight about it. People are so annoying.

...Do you have a crush? Does it end at a crush or do you take it further?