Eye opening....

This week has had many humbling moments. It was a very trying week and I learned a little bit about myself and my limitations.  I've made some decisions, and have many more important ones to make.

I have also discovered how people perceive me, and it wasn't pretty.

It's one thing to be going through a rough patch in life.  It's a completely other problem when someone sees this rough patch as the final straw.  I mean things were bad, really bad, but I could see past this and see a future.  This person thought that I was not seeing anything good coming from the situation and concluded that I needed help.

They thought I wanted to end my life.

Rather than coming to me, pulling me aside, offering me a hug or encouraging words, this person went to my boss at work and expressed their concerns.

and then I ugly cried.  A lot.  In front of my boss.  For an hour in her office.

I felt completely stupid. I felt like someone saw my life to be even shittier than I did, so shitty that I would rather end it than deal with my issues.

and that hurt a lot.

It still does.

The thought of killing myself never even crossed my mind.

Honestly.

I have too much to live for.