My son has been diagnosed with a learning disability. 

I feel like I should be a little more in shock.  A little guiltier for the things I may have done to cause this. Maybe a little angrier at the cards we’ve been dealt – but the truth is, I’m kind of relieved.

This has been a long, hard process.  There has been so much frustration and tears along this journey, so to finally have it come to an end is a huge relief.  I almost jumped for joy when the diagnosis was explained, which I know seems like a fairly odd reaction, but the first thing that came to mind was that he will finally get the help he needs and deserves.

Being a single working parent made this process even tougher.  I would get notes from teachers asking me to read more with my son.  I’ve been asked to do worksheets upon worksheets with him to help him catch up to the other students.  The truth is, when I get home from work I am tired.  I have to make dinner, clean up, spend time with my child by doing worksheets – it just wasn’t working!  The last thing any child wants to do when he finally gets to be in his own environment after a long day is do more of the work that frustrated him all day long.  It was rough, he didn’t retain any of the information on these worksheets – we butted heads over it until I finally said enough is enough. 

We found little ways here and there to incorporate lessons into everyday life, but it was never enough – none of this information seemed to be sticking.  I’ve always felt like the teachers thought I wasn’t doing enough to help him, and it bothered me, but I felt very strongly that forcing him to do more work when he already was at a disadvantage in the classroom all day long, was not benefiting anyone – especially our sanity.  Even though it sounds like I was making the wrong decision, I still stand by this decision completely. 

The education system is a strange little thing.  My son was diagnosed with a Central Auditory Processing Disorder one year ago.  At that time, an FM system was recommended.  I was informed by a school board representative that the TRIAL of the FM system would not be permitted until my son had psychology testing completed.  He waited for one year on an IEP and finally had psychology testing completed in April (two months from the end of the school year).  Now that he has been diagnosed with a learning disability (it was explained to me that it is something like dyslexia), he is no longer eligible for an FM system.  Which seems kind of silly to me – after all, this is only a trial to see if he would benefit from this device. It’s the odd rules like this that are hard to wrap my mind around, but I’m still all really new to this exceptional student/special education thing. 

So even though the diagnosis is not so great, I have a greater understanding of what my child is dealing with.  I now know for sure that he is not “lazy”.  I know for sure that I am not a bad parent and that I didn’t read to him enough.  He has special needs that we will have to adjust our lives to, but knowing how to adjust our lives makes me feel pretty optimistic.  Things can only get better from here.