The Big (or not so big) 28...

I am 28 now. I don't really know what that means, nor do I really care to since this happened to be the most uneventful birthday...ever.

I actually couldn't wait for it to be over, and it's not just because I am old (remember you are only as old as you feel - and I feel pretty damn old), but also because I just wanted a day all about me. I wanted to do what I want, I wanted people to do what I said what I want...yet, none of that happened and like a spoiled little child I just want to pout about it. Really, how damn hard was it for someone to buy me a f'in plastic crown?? Okay, so maybe I didn't make it public that I wanted a plastic crown, and maybe the idea didn't come to mind until like 3pm on the day of my birthday, but still...I wanted to be special, yet I somehow managed to feel "oldest child syndrome" and emo all day long.

I didn't want to not have presents. I didn't want to have to go everywhere someone else wanted to. I didn't want to have to go to the store and pick out my own cake. I sure as hell could have easily skipped the awkward Facebook messages and e-mails (and non-existent greetings) from friends and family.

Maybe 28 is the whiny year, because I sure feel pretty babyish about this whole thing, but seriously was it too much to ask to feel a little bit special on your flippin b-day?? Lucky for a good friend or I would have been in bed at 9pm...we really should have gone out for some Tequilas...I swear today would have been a me as a fun drunk day. Dude, rubbing those t-shirts was the most fun I've had all day long...srsly.

I think more than disappointed I'm just a little scared. 28 is closer to 30, and I am alone. I have no plans - nothing. I don't know what to do from this point on to make the rest of my life greater - I'm stuck. I want to change, I need something to change, but I don't know what and I hate change, I'm afraid of change. As much as I hate change, I know something has to change but I don't know what and being closer to being (what I classify as...) over the hill, I am terrified of just doing this for the rest of my life - alone with no plastic freakin crown.

There is always the leftover birthday cake and memories of a good times rubbing t-shirts for an eternity.